


Broken Hallelujah

by cometchained



Series: Hallelujah [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-03
Updated: 2013-04-03
Packaged: 2017-12-07 08:31:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cometchained/pseuds/cometchained
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is Jo Harvelle's last night on Earth, and she knows it.</p><p>Coda to 5x10, Abandon All Hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Hallelujah

He sees her and he knows that it is the end.The last thing he wants to do is admit it, and a part of him is still fervently denying that this is happening. The possibility that they will be moving on without the girl lying on the floor is ripping into his chest like the claws that have shredded Jo Harvelle's body.

She wants them to be realistic about this.

Dean does not want to be realistic. In fact, right now, all he wants to do is go back to who he was before, back to what they were before, back to before they had come to this hellhole, before Meg, before Lucifer, before everything.

Before the hellhounds had torn apart Jo's skin and left her bleeding and dying on the ground.

She is NOT dying, Dean tells himself firmly, but even he can hear the lie in his own thoughts.

A few feet away, Ellen is hardly holding herself together, and it takes every ounce of self control for Dean not to go over there and reach out to her. He is not a very touchy-feely person normally, but the sight of Ellen's shaking shoulders and the weight of everything pressing down upon them all is almost unbearable. Ellen's voice is trembling so badly that her words are lost in her throat, a sob escaping instead, and Dean can feel that sob sinking into his bones, shivering through his veins like poison.

He holds himself steady because that is the only way that he will be able to get through this.

Dean knows what Jo is implying even before Sam's question about the materials Jo lists reaches his ears, and everything inside of him is turning to ice. Ellen gives another sob, awful and so filled with anguish that it feels as though it's seeping into the very air around them, making it so thick that Dean almost wonders if he will suffocate underneath it all.

"No," he hears himself say, but he knows that his desperate protests will not do anything. Jo has already decided, and he will not be able to change her mind because she is right.

They have no other options. And Dean's heart, so closed off, so filled with emotions he does not release, that he keeps inside of himself, feels as though it's shattering into a million pieces. It's difficult to breathe, but he does it anyway, trying to look as though he has it all under control, trying to be the constant strength for everyone, in spite of the fact that he's dying inside.

He goes to find supplies.

 

\----------

 

She sees him and she knows that it is the end.

She knew that as soon as she felt the claws at her side, maybe even before, as soon as she saw Dean fall and turned back around. He had shouted at her to keep going, but the thought of losing Dean had been so awful that she had not even hesitated.

Now she is the one that is being lost.

The others are getting supplies, and Jo feels somewhat useless just sitting here on the floor, but she can't move her legs, or even the rest of her body. The pain, so white hot and blinding at first, has now settled into simply feeling as though her side is doused in flames. The rest of her body is surprisingly numb, her head feeling groggy as though she has taken too much medication. Everything is blurred around the edges, like a badly taken photograph, and sometimes it feels impossible to just remain sitting upright - but she can't give in now.

Not yet.

Beside her, her mother works steadily, and Jo watches her work, bloodstained hands twisting and knotting the wires into place. Despite their differences, her mother has always been steadfast, the protectiveness a result of the loss of her husband and the fear that she will lose her daughter as well.

Jo does not want to face the fact that Ellen Harvelle will be losing her, but that is the reality. She has to face it, because there is nothing else to face.

Within twenty minutes everything has been assembled. Ellen has gone to set everything in place, moving around silently, but firmly, like a soldier. Jo is still in the same place on the floor. Sam is sitting beside her, holding her hand, and she looks up at him, fighting back the exhaustion and the desire to sleep. He says nothing, but he doesn't need to.

She knows what he wants to say without the words.

There are footsteps approaching, and Jo knows who they belong to without having to look up. A good thing too, since by now it's hard to even turn her head. She feels Sam squeeze her hand gently once, then twice, before he lets go and stands up, moving away to help Ellen. The footsteps come closer, accompanied by the sound of something sliding across the tile floor. Dean comes into view a few seconds later, laying down the wires of the bomb, and when he reaches her, he crouches down beside her, holding out the trigger. Large, rough hands take hers, and Jo can feel the warmth of them sinking into her skin.

She loves his hands. They make her feel safe.

He is looking at her with the same expression he always has, still trying to be the strong, confident soldier even though they both know that this is the time to say goodbye.

She is scared of dying. Fear is etched in every bone in her body, despite her having accepted her fate the moment she was attacked.

She is scared, and he knows it.

 

\----------

 

He doesn't kiss her because it's their last moment together. He kisses her because she deserves better, because she is scared and he can see the fear behind the tremulous smile as she tries so hard to be brave. He kisses her because she is Jo Harvelle, and if there was anyone who was a match for Dean Winchester, it is her. She can take his witty (and sometimes not quite as witty) retorts and throw them right back in his face. She can - and has - stood up to him. She has shown her determination. She is Jo Harvelle, and she is strong and beautiful and intelligent, and she wants to be a hunter to honor her dad.

He kisses her because he does not want to say the words "goodbye" because that implies an end, and this is not an end.

It will never be an end.

 

\----------

 

She tries not to show how scared she is, but it's too late for that, and besides, Dean can see right through her anyway.

He could always see right through her.

 

\----------

 

He does not love Jo the way she loves him, but he loves her all the same.

He does not want to lose her.

There are no more options.

There is no more time.

His fingers slip away from her face, and the warmth disappears.

 

\----------

 

She does not want to be alone, but this is how death works.

Her mother does not feel the same.

Joanna Beth Harvelle will not be alone in her time of dying.

 

\----------

 

Ellen Harvelle sees her daughter and she knows that this is the end.

Jo has tried to get her to leave, to save herself, but there is nothing that will stop Ellen from staying. There is no way that she is willing to leave her only child by herself to die; even the very thought is ludicrous.

No, she will stay by Jo's side until the very end.

She knows Jo has put up a good front, pretending that she is stronger than she feels for Sam and for Dean - always for Dean. And as soon as the boys are gone, Jo's eyelids flutter, and her breathing drops, becoming shallow. Her pale face is streaked with sweat, blood, and dirt, and her hair is tangled and matted, but Ellen still thinks she is the most beautiful girl in the world, and that is a fact that is irrefutable.

She does not want to die either, but she will not let her daughter die alone.

Ellen swipes her foot across the rock salt barrier, untangling the heavy silver chains from the door handles. She lets them crash noisily to the ground and steps away, towards the first propane tank. Every gesture is quiet, unobtrusive, and surprisingly her hands do not shake as she twists the knob, hearing the familiar hiss. She is calm as she walks back towards Jo, barely holding it together, and crouches down to sit beside her, sliding her legs out in front of her. Ellen lifts her arm, and puts it around Jo's shoulders, nestling her daughter against her side. Jo's head lolls back and forth, her eyelids fluttering again, and every part of Ellen feels as though it is breaking into so many pieces she will never be whole again.

Ellen hears Jo breathe out a single word as Ellen turns her head, searching for the source of the barking that breaks out somewhere in the vicinity of where they are sitting.

She turns away, and in that moment everything ends.

As she looks back to her daughter, Jo's body unnaturally still, Ellen already knows that she is gone, even before she says her name in one last, desperate plea. It is a miracle that she has managed to hold on this long, but Ellen's world is turning blacker and blacker and she's finding it difficult to breathe, suffocating in the depths of her grief, a grief so deep that it feels as though it is imprinted on her very soul. She puts her face against Jo's hair and curls herself against her daughter, protecting her, keeping her safe from the horror and hell that is drawing nearer with every second.

She is scared, but she is with Jo, and that is all that matters.

She feels the breath of the hellhound against her hair, and Ellen looks forward. Her fingers curl tighter around Jo's, and in this moment Ellen knows that this is something that is worth dying for. Her arm pulls her daughter close, and a smile graces her lips, one last snarled, defiant remark escaping her throat.

Her - and Jo's - fingers press down.

Everything goes red, then gold, and then a myriad of colors and sensations and feelings all crammed into one split second -

And then everything goes dark.


End file.
